#Hello

“Strong women don’t have Attitudes we have standards” -Marilyn Monroe
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I chose me. At first, I thought how selfish of me to do this. I thought I was breaking generational curses. I thought I could really give my daughter something I didn’t have, a two-parent household. I wanted (well I thought he wanted it to) a family. But after reviewing the 9 months of my pregnancy, there were no fucks given on his end. So why after countless times of forgiving over, over, and over again should there be any remorse on my end? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. 

“Being a good mother while my entire world fell apart was the hardest role I’ve ever played”
                -Some Instagram Meme

It’s hard enough being postpartum and trying to find yourself again. It was even harder during my pregnancy trying to gain a sense of my body changes and Hell! Even my lifestyle changes. I was the girl on the go before my pregnancy. I balanced two jobs, owning my own business, and writing books. I was (and still am) the one female who could get into any establishment or party I wanted to in Chicago. So you mean to tell the “Shots With Tati” girl all night who has to sit down for nine months? Not to mention with everything I have gone through postpartum set me back an additional three months. After all these phases, I am not the woman I was before and I surely can’t take the amount of bullshit from men I used to take before. See the irony in this? All more reasons why not to date her. 

“The Best Revenge is to Heal…nobody’s fkn with the healed you”.
                -Turtle Breeze ThirdEyeChrist

It took a few slaps on the back of my neck from God’s sandal, and I finally found the courage to let that man go! It’s the whole stab in the back several times after I’ve had your back for me. I will never forget bartending at eight months pregnant, as big as a house because we needed money for bills. I will never forget the times he lied to my face about women whom he slept with or flirted with. I will never forget being so stressed in that house every day because I was worried about how we were going to make it. I will never forget sitting at the county jail for seven hours to bail him out. I will never forget him telling me how crazy and sick in the head I am because I caught him up with another lie. I will never forget me being sick postpartum with preeclampsia and him going to the gym not giving a fuck. I will never forget every single lie he has told people about us including denying our daughter. Somehow in all of this plus more, I found peace again. And once you get a taste of peace you never want to let it go. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. 

“You choose therapy and healing. They chose to continue the toxic cycle with new people. Tell me again how you were the problem”?
-Ash Taylor

Friends, I know I haven’t written in a year. I think this journey has made me want to get back into something that I am known for doing. I lost myself in this past relationship. But I won’t lose what I desire with this parenting. I am happy with the choice I made. I’m happy that I am going back into therapy. I am happy with my new life. I heard co-parenting is hard and you must have thick skin. Well, buckle up friends because we are going on a new journey. And this time, there is no going back. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why you should date her again.